'He's looking at me again as if I committed a mischievous act', I would often whisper to myself.... He really freaked me out!
We always pray with our eyes close. I mean, this is the general practice to reach the divine, right? But I couldn't help it! I'd still open my eyes and look at the picture again just like a paranormal hunter. 'There he is again, looking at me as if I'm not meditating enough'. He really gave me that feeling of paranoia.
That guy to me was known Jesus!
But why do I feel so close to this stranger? I would often ponder.
Every time I'm in a bad situation, I'd run to him.
Every time I'm being reprimanded, I'd talk to him.
As I grew up, that stranger became so endearing. I'm so blessed to know the other side of Him!
Yesterday morning, I took care of a patient with known case of coronary artery disease under a well known cardio-thoracic surgeon who also implements his own strict standards.
The patient's Trop-T was elevated so one of the doctors prescribed subcutaneous Fraxiparine. My colleague helped me to google it because we're not quite familiar on how does fraxiparine work with Trop-T elevations to cardiac patients. Bingo! we found the exact answer we wanted!
My morning shift went smoothly until in the afternoon when this cardio-thoracic doctor came and did his routine rounds. I sneaked into the patient's room and took a quick glance at the patient's case file. Unknowingly, he felt being interrupted and disturbed (despite my excuse) so he suddenly begun raising his voice at me but I just remained calm. He then asked several questions regarding the patient. I was just so lucky to have read the patient's medical history even before he came. He even complimented me but he kept on questioning me why I disturbed him.
And just as I thought it was all over, I assumed wrongly! He told me to let my nurse manager see him at his office. (together with me perhaps as I heard from a colleague)
And so we did. I tried to keep my composure although I felt a bit nervous. This doctor blew the simple issue out of proportion!...and then, I remembered the guy on the wall! I prayed!
As far as I'm concerned, I didn't jeopardise the patient's equality on reaping the benefits of proper nursing care so why should I even be afraid of him? What I did wasn't even condemnable!
In his office, I was waiting for him to shout at me but he didn't. I told him the actual reason why I was there. He felt that what I did was beyond propriety.
He reminded me not to disturb him when he is doing his rounds as he tries to focus on personalised patient care (as both of us perhaps, he even added mentioning my name written on my name tag) and then he dealt on certain issues not concerning me anymore.
I felt that God groped with me at that very particular place, at that very particular moment!
Behind the heading, my colleauges would probably understand why.
Mr. Bo Sanchez inspired me through his book 'Didache'. Thanks to him.
Always be in awe of His perpetual faithfulness!